We all already know the rule. Forgive others as God forgave you.
So why does it seem so hard sometimes for me to forgive? I have forgiven and been forgiven some of the worst things that can be done to a person. I'm not saying those things were easy to forgive and sometimes it took years of the Lord working in me for it to happen. Unfortunately, there are certain times when I find it harder to forgive, and sometimes it has to do with things that really aren't that big a deal in the big scheme of things. I've been trying to figure out why this happens. Is it the thing itself? The person who did the thing? My relationship with them? What reason is it that my heart is so hard sometimes?
I think I've started to realize it comes from my expectations. I expect more from some people than others. I expect more from my closest friends, my family, my husband, my kids, other Christians. But why should I expect more from them? They are human, just like the rest of the world. I know this in my head, and yet in my heart I will continue to hold onto things until there is such bitterness that I can't even stand talking to the person.
And in that bitterness, I realize there is more than one reason God calls us to forgive others. Not only because God forgave us (Colassians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.), but also because unforgiveness eats you up inside. Lewis B. Smedes wrote "When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life.You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself."
Who wants to walk around imprisoned by hatred? Not me. So, I must learn how to forgive - the big things, the little things - even the things that I've never received an apology for. It won't be easy, and it may need to be done over and over, on a daily basis. Jesus knew that it wouldn't be easy for us (Matthew 18:21-22), yet He continues to call us to do it. And He promises us that we can do ANYTHING with His help (Philippians 4:13).
Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
My first rant
So I am joining the fray and starting a blog. I realize that most of what I post may be for my own benefit; to simply be able to express myself and vent about the things that....well, I need to vent about. I'm not quite sure how to start. Do I introduce myself and talk about myself? I know that most people who read this first post will already know me and about me, so I'll forgo that and just get to it.
I spent the first portion of my morning doing my normal thing - getting the kids ready for school, making breakfast, packing lunches. I also spent a portion of my morning in tears. I've never felt more misunderstood in my life. I knew that being a Christian, I would be misunderstood and persecuted. The bible says in 2 Timothy "In fact, everyone who wants to live a Godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." (NIV) I expected it. I even welcomed it because the bible also tells us that we will be blessed by persecution and driven deeper into God's kingdom (Matthew 5:10 MSG). What I didn't realize is how badly it would hurt. Oh, I don't mind being misunderstood or persecuted by the world and people I do not know. It's when people who I know (people who I assume know my heart) - that it really cuts me down.
I've seen a lot of Facebook and blog posts regarding this election. From both sides, obviously. I've posted a few of them myself. I have no problem with people expressing their beliefs. Those of us that post on social media should expect to see such things. Those of us that post such things should be ready for responses - from those that agree with us and those that don't. The hard part is expressing your beliefs in such a way that people actually understand what you are saying. I think that on both sides of this, we all fail. Nobody wants to understand what the other side is saying and those of us that beg for open-mindedness are quick to shoot others down and find ourselves being as close-minded as we scream that the other side is. I feel like perhaps I have failed completely, because I find myself wondering how in the world people I have discussions with can think the things they do about me.
So let me clarify a few things. Yes, I am a Christian. That means I believe in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ (Philippians 2:5-11). That means I believe I am a sinner and that the only way to God is through belief in Jesus (John 14:6). It means I have repented of my sins and am committed to doing what is righteous in God's eyes (Romans 6:17-18, Romans 12:1-2). It means I am to do good to all people (Galatians 6:10) - not as a way to get to God, but because I am so grateful for the goodness and graciousness that God has bestowed upon me (Ephesians 2:8-10). It means that I am to take care of other people - the widow, the orphan, the poor (Philippians 2:4, Proverbs 19:7, Exodus 22:22-24). It means that I should be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good and self-controlled (Galatians 5:22-23). It means I am pro-life because God hates the shedding of innocent blood (Proverbs 6:16-17). Let me add here that I was pro-life even as an atheist. It means that I am pro-Israel (Genesis 12:3).
In my own words, here is what is DOESN'T mean. It does not mean I hate those that don't agree with me - I love everyone on this earth simply because God calls me to and because Jesus loved everyone regardless of their sin. It does not mean I hate homosexuals...I don't even care about civil unions. If the bible calls us to stop everyone from every sin, then we have a lot more to worry about than just gay marriage. A lot of Christians may disagree with me here, but it's just not an issue for me. It does not mean I want this country to go backwards...well, at least not in certain ways. I've seen things posted that say I must be a racist and a bigot because I have old fashioned values. Just because I believe that society was better when we had more traditional values, does not mean I am pro-racism or anti-women. I believe women should have the right to work and have a career and make a living if they want and/or need to. I choose not to myself because I believe my best job is at home with my children. It does not mean my husband or I are weak because we choose to fulfill the roles that we believe God made us for. It does not mean I want this country to be at war or that I want capital punishment to be a means by which we handle criminals. It does not mean that I think every person on welfare/food stamps/medicaid is a lazy slob - my family used them when we needed them and it certainly wasn't because my husband (who now works 3 jobs) is lazy. I think those programs are great for what they were intended for, however I have personally known a lot of people who do take advantage of them.
I guess my point in all this is that I may not be the average Christian. I am definitely not the Christian you see portrayed in the media (i.e. Westboro Baptist "Christians" and the like). Not all Christians are haters and abortion clinic bombers. So before you re-post blanket statements about Christians on social media, get to know some of us. Almost every Christian I know is out there doing the things I stated above - they are taking care of the poor, they are giving their time and money and love to those that need help the most. I could make lists of the people I know through church and the work I see them doing on a daily or weekly basis to help other people. They just want to be in control of how they help people and they don't want the government telling them how to do it.
Before you post hateful things or comment on hateful things or "like" hateful things about Christians, think of those you know that are Christians and think about how it might make them feel. Christianity isn't some random idea we've picked up....it's the way we try to live our lives everyday and it's the way we truly believe we will live forever. I try not to post things that hurt people who don't agree with me, and if I have in the past - I hope I've apologized and deleted those things. I expect more from my friends and family than this. If you're okay with me being in tears this morning, then post away....but don't talk to me about love and tolerance when you are being hateful and judgmental to those that are closest to you.
I know I will be persecuted. I know that I open myself up to it on social media when I log onto the computer each day. Shall I delete those people that post hateful things or those that don't agree with me? No, for we are to be a light to the world (Matthew 5:14-16), we are to have a gentle answer about our belief in Jesus (1 Peter 3:15), we are to be a witness to the saving power of Jesus Christ (2 Timothy 2:15-16), and we are to go into the world and tell others about Him (Matthew 16:15).
So, no - I will not wrap myself in a cocoon and hide from those that don't agree with me. I will spend mornings crying because I am misunderstood by those I love....because I love them so much that I cannot back away until they know the love of Christ as I do. I will humble myself so that they see Christ in my actions.
And I will rely on the Lord as my strength because His word tells me that His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
Lamentations 3:19-24 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and gall. I remember them well and my soul is downcast within me. Yet I call this to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed. For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion ; therefore I will wait for Him."
I spent the first portion of my morning doing my normal thing - getting the kids ready for school, making breakfast, packing lunches. I also spent a portion of my morning in tears. I've never felt more misunderstood in my life. I knew that being a Christian, I would be misunderstood and persecuted. The bible says in 2 Timothy "In fact, everyone who wants to live a Godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." (NIV) I expected it. I even welcomed it because the bible also tells us that we will be blessed by persecution and driven deeper into God's kingdom (Matthew 5:10 MSG). What I didn't realize is how badly it would hurt. Oh, I don't mind being misunderstood or persecuted by the world and people I do not know. It's when people who I know (people who I assume know my heart) - that it really cuts me down.
I've seen a lot of Facebook and blog posts regarding this election. From both sides, obviously. I've posted a few of them myself. I have no problem with people expressing their beliefs. Those of us that post on social media should expect to see such things. Those of us that post such things should be ready for responses - from those that agree with us and those that don't. The hard part is expressing your beliefs in such a way that people actually understand what you are saying. I think that on both sides of this, we all fail. Nobody wants to understand what the other side is saying and those of us that beg for open-mindedness are quick to shoot others down and find ourselves being as close-minded as we scream that the other side is. I feel like perhaps I have failed completely, because I find myself wondering how in the world people I have discussions with can think the things they do about me.
So let me clarify a few things. Yes, I am a Christian. That means I believe in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ (Philippians 2:5-11). That means I believe I am a sinner and that the only way to God is through belief in Jesus (John 14:6). It means I have repented of my sins and am committed to doing what is righteous in God's eyes (Romans 6:17-18, Romans 12:1-2). It means I am to do good to all people (Galatians 6:10) - not as a way to get to God, but because I am so grateful for the goodness and graciousness that God has bestowed upon me (Ephesians 2:8-10). It means that I am to take care of other people - the widow, the orphan, the poor (Philippians 2:4, Proverbs 19:7, Exodus 22:22-24). It means that I should be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good and self-controlled (Galatians 5:22-23). It means I am pro-life because God hates the shedding of innocent blood (Proverbs 6:16-17). Let me add here that I was pro-life even as an atheist. It means that I am pro-Israel (Genesis 12:3).
In my own words, here is what is DOESN'T mean. It does not mean I hate those that don't agree with me - I love everyone on this earth simply because God calls me to and because Jesus loved everyone regardless of their sin. It does not mean I hate homosexuals...I don't even care about civil unions. If the bible calls us to stop everyone from every sin, then we have a lot more to worry about than just gay marriage. A lot of Christians may disagree with me here, but it's just not an issue for me. It does not mean I want this country to go backwards...well, at least not in certain ways. I've seen things posted that say I must be a racist and a bigot because I have old fashioned values. Just because I believe that society was better when we had more traditional values, does not mean I am pro-racism or anti-women. I believe women should have the right to work and have a career and make a living if they want and/or need to. I choose not to myself because I believe my best job is at home with my children. It does not mean my husband or I are weak because we choose to fulfill the roles that we believe God made us for. It does not mean I want this country to be at war or that I want capital punishment to be a means by which we handle criminals. It does not mean that I think every person on welfare/food stamps/medicaid is a lazy slob - my family used them when we needed them and it certainly wasn't because my husband (who now works 3 jobs) is lazy. I think those programs are great for what they were intended for, however I have personally known a lot of people who do take advantage of them.
I guess my point in all this is that I may not be the average Christian. I am definitely not the Christian you see portrayed in the media (i.e. Westboro Baptist "Christians" and the like). Not all Christians are haters and abortion clinic bombers. So before you re-post blanket statements about Christians on social media, get to know some of us. Almost every Christian I know is out there doing the things I stated above - they are taking care of the poor, they are giving their time and money and love to those that need help the most. I could make lists of the people I know through church and the work I see them doing on a daily or weekly basis to help other people. They just want to be in control of how they help people and they don't want the government telling them how to do it.
Before you post hateful things or comment on hateful things or "like" hateful things about Christians, think of those you know that are Christians and think about how it might make them feel. Christianity isn't some random idea we've picked up....it's the way we try to live our lives everyday and it's the way we truly believe we will live forever. I try not to post things that hurt people who don't agree with me, and if I have in the past - I hope I've apologized and deleted those things. I expect more from my friends and family than this. If you're okay with me being in tears this morning, then post away....but don't talk to me about love and tolerance when you are being hateful and judgmental to those that are closest to you.
I know I will be persecuted. I know that I open myself up to it on social media when I log onto the computer each day. Shall I delete those people that post hateful things or those that don't agree with me? No, for we are to be a light to the world (Matthew 5:14-16), we are to have a gentle answer about our belief in Jesus (1 Peter 3:15), we are to be a witness to the saving power of Jesus Christ (2 Timothy 2:15-16), and we are to go into the world and tell others about Him (Matthew 16:15).
So, no - I will not wrap myself in a cocoon and hide from those that don't agree with me. I will spend mornings crying because I am misunderstood by those I love....because I love them so much that I cannot back away until they know the love of Christ as I do. I will humble myself so that they see Christ in my actions.
And I will rely on the Lord as my strength because His word tells me that His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
Lamentations 3:19-24 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and gall. I remember them well and my soul is downcast within me. Yet I call this to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed. For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion ; therefore I will wait for Him."
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