I lost a FB friend recently. I went to look one day for recent posts from this person and was shocked to find that she was no longer my friend. This has happened to me a few times...it probably has happened to many people. Yet this wasn't some random person I went to school with that I had reconnected with on social media after 15 years. This was a person I considered one of my closest friends. We had stayed in touch after high school, even though we were half a world away. She celebrated so many things with me and my family...birthdays, weddings, etc. She was one of the first people I called when I gave birth to each of my children. I'm not sure the reason this happened (I can't get a response from her), but I am assuming that it had to do with political or religious reasons. See, my friend and I were once very much alike - "free" thinking hippie-types that were pretty socially and politically liberal. If you know me, then you know I am no longer of that mindset. Having Christ in my life not only changed my way of thinking in such matters, but has changed every fiber of my being. Some people don't like that. Some people disagree with me and dismiss it. Or me.
I usually regard these parting of ways as a thing Christians have to deal with. I mean the Bible tells us we will be persecuted, after all (2 Tim 3:12). But this time I felt hurt deep down. As lay in bed the other night, crying about the situation; I prayed to God, asking why and how I am driving people away. His answer was that it wasn't me driving people away, it was people running from Him. I tried to figure out what I can do to help win people to Christ. This is what the Lord gave me:
Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, and you only have to be silent.
Hmph. Here Moses was telling the Israelites to stop freaking out; that the Lord would save them if only they trusted and shut up. I think this is the problem we, as Christians, have a lot of times. We get so bent on righting every wrong in this world that sometimes we rage about things we will never be able to change. My fantastic Sunday School teacher said last week that the Bible does not call the church to fix every wrong in the world. Kinda of a new concept when the church has so many crusaders. But as I lay there, praying to God, I finally got it. We think a certain way about things because we know the love of Christ. The people we are trying to persuade mostly have no clue about Christ, faith or the Bible. We are preaching to people who look at us as if we have two heads and are speaking Martian. They will never get it.
They will, however, understand the love of Christ if that is what we show them. And once they know the love of Christ, all those other social and political issues - abortion, gay marriage, etc. (take your pick) - will follow as they grow and learn what the Bible says. So I've discovered that our crusading should not be to change the world, but to help be an example to change peoples hearts. The Holy Spirit works through us when we witness to others about the saving grace of God, not when we rant about political issues.
I am not saying that we shouldn't be vigilant about what happens in this country or the world. We should. We should know what is going on, we should be voting, we should be out there being activists. Activists in the sense that we are actually doing something about the injustices we see happening....not just ranting about it and re-posting photos or articles on social media. We're not winning in that respect.
So how do we go about this? We get out there and do. Do for others (volunteer to work with kids or the homeless or the hungry...whatever it is you feel led to do). And while you're doing, share with them how Christ changed you and your life. Share with them the fact that we all are sinners and fall short of the Glory of God. Share with them that there is an answer to this through the wonderful love of Jesus Christ. Bear witness to all the glorious things you have learned through the Bible.
This is how we will change the world.
I feel ashamed now that my "ex-friend" will probably no longer have a Godly influence on her life....I think perhaps I was one of her few Christian friends. Now what will happen, I don't know. I can only pray for her and her salvation.
But I also have to think about what might have happened if I had just shut up and let God do His work.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Why so insecure?
So, the Christmas season left me feeling rather lame. Most people who know my husband and I know that we are not huge fans of the commercialized Christmas, but since we have kids - we try. We decided to decorate early, get a REAL tree, go all out on the presents, etc. I myself decided I would handmake paper ornaments as gifts to our friends. As I sat on the floor, scraps of paper and glue gun residue all around me; my house a complete mess, the laundry piling up - I felt like a total loser. This was the same day I tried to say something helpful in the best way I knew how to somebody and got it all wrong. Add these things together, and I felt like a total failure.
This wasn't a new feeling for me. I beat myself up on a regular basis and turn it into a real pity party. When I get in these moods, everyone is against me and any little thing that's said is taken as an insult (you can ask my husband about these moods).
I'm shy around new people at church (which is a real downer when your husband is the Worship Leader), I tend to be a little crude when it comes to jokes, I'm too sarcastic, I talk too much once you get to know me, my van is always messy, I really stink at doing laundry, I don't remember things and I know it and still don't write stuff down, I never remember thank you notes, I'm opinionated and confrontational, I overcook chicken, I don't read my Bible as much as I should. I don't read enough to my kids, I let them watch too much TV, they sometimes go out without jackets in the cold, I don't spank them enough, I yell. There's a little voice that whispers all these things in my ear until they are all jumbled around and my head is about to explode.
I have this one friend. She can sew clothes for her kids, make their birthday card invitations by hand, bake and decorate cakes like a professional. Meanwhile, dinner is cooked perfectly every night and the laundry is done and her house is spotless.
I have another friend. She is always sweet and kind and thinks of others. She ALWAYS says the right thing exactly when I need to hear it. When other people talk about goodness and love and sweetness, her name inevitably comes up. She's like a Disney Princess...when she whistles, you imagine birds and deer coming to her side.
The reality may be that friend #1 has laundry and old food containers shoved under all the beds in her house. And friend #2 may say the dumbest things to her husband when nobody is around to hear. In my mind, it doesn't matter. The reality to me is that sometimes I'm not good enough, not strong enough, not spiritual enough, not smart enough, not submissive enough, etc. etc. etc.
What I learning though is that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I feel perfect or if anyone else makes me feel perfect. God loved me enough to create me. Psalm 139:13-14 says "For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
It doesn't matter if I feel useless. Look at the book of Jonah - God used a storm, a whale, a rebellious man, a plant, a worm. He can certainly use me, whether for big things or small, to do any good work (Philippians 2:13). He has plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11). God loves me so much that nothing I do or say can ever separate us (Romans 8:35-39).
This isn't to say that I shouldn't try to improve myself. God doesn't want us to sit idle and useless. But what I'm learning to remember is that God rejoices over us (Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you with his love; he will exult over you with loud singing). I'm learning to remember that when I was even worse than I am now, Jesus loved me enough to die for me (Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us).
See, the REAL reality is that when Jesus breathed His last breath on the cross and said "It is finished", He wasn't thinking about all the things that I am not. He was thinking about all the things that I am.
This wasn't a new feeling for me. I beat myself up on a regular basis and turn it into a real pity party. When I get in these moods, everyone is against me and any little thing that's said is taken as an insult (you can ask my husband about these moods).
I'm shy around new people at church (which is a real downer when your husband is the Worship Leader), I tend to be a little crude when it comes to jokes, I'm too sarcastic, I talk too much once you get to know me, my van is always messy, I really stink at doing laundry, I don't remember things and I know it and still don't write stuff down, I never remember thank you notes, I'm opinionated and confrontational, I overcook chicken, I don't read my Bible as much as I should. I don't read enough to my kids, I let them watch too much TV, they sometimes go out without jackets in the cold, I don't spank them enough, I yell. There's a little voice that whispers all these things in my ear until they are all jumbled around and my head is about to explode.
I have this one friend. She can sew clothes for her kids, make their birthday card invitations by hand, bake and decorate cakes like a professional. Meanwhile, dinner is cooked perfectly every night and the laundry is done and her house is spotless.
I have another friend. She is always sweet and kind and thinks of others. She ALWAYS says the right thing exactly when I need to hear it. When other people talk about goodness and love and sweetness, her name inevitably comes up. She's like a Disney Princess...when she whistles, you imagine birds and deer coming to her side.
The reality may be that friend #1 has laundry and old food containers shoved under all the beds in her house. And friend #2 may say the dumbest things to her husband when nobody is around to hear. In my mind, it doesn't matter. The reality to me is that sometimes I'm not good enough, not strong enough, not spiritual enough, not smart enough, not submissive enough, etc. etc. etc.
What I learning though is that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I feel perfect or if anyone else makes me feel perfect. God loved me enough to create me. Psalm 139:13-14 says "For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
It doesn't matter if I feel useless. Look at the book of Jonah - God used a storm, a whale, a rebellious man, a plant, a worm. He can certainly use me, whether for big things or small, to do any good work (Philippians 2:13). He has plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11). God loves me so much that nothing I do or say can ever separate us (Romans 8:35-39).
This isn't to say that I shouldn't try to improve myself. God doesn't want us to sit idle and useless. But what I'm learning to remember is that God rejoices over us (Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you with his love; he will exult over you with loud singing). I'm learning to remember that when I was even worse than I am now, Jesus loved me enough to die for me (Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us).
See, the REAL reality is that when Jesus breathed His last breath on the cross and said "It is finished", He wasn't thinking about all the things that I am not. He was thinking about all the things that I am.
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